I Crack Myself Up! : Outskirts Press : 9781478719229 : 1478719222 : 09 Oct 2012 : My husband said; "You women complain about EVERYTHING!" I said; "Is that what you men are calling yourselves now? EVERYTHING?" I figured it out! The chicken crossed the road to get away from the stupid rooster! I once asked a friend what her kittens name was and she replied; "Free to good home!" Time for bed! I plan on dreaming of paying all my bills with good checks! One time my mother made me so furious! So...I sent my teenagers to stay with her for awhile! My husband and I were watching Pretty Woman together one night. During one scene Vivian was wearing nothing but a necktie! My husband piped up and asked me; "Why don't you wear just a necktie for me?" I said to him; "When you give me $3000 for sleeping with you I will buy a necktie!" A co-worker once asked me what my favorite holiday was. I replied; "The first day of school!" My kids begged me for a pot belly pig. I said; "NO! I already had one and d