Heartbreak is a triple loss At first, the physical absence of the partner seems like the only cause of our suffering and one is under the illusion that if he or she would only come back, all would be fine again. It is truly an illusion because there are three absentees in the drama of heartbreak. The first is the beloved, and even if that person were to come back, the second, the person you were with the beloved, and the third, the person you were for the beloved, are never coming back. This triple loss explains the loss of a sense of identity. Individuals suffering heartbreak have nightmares of losing their nametag, passport, car keys, of being lost in a strange city, of walking in a cemetery and reading their name on a funeral monument, of having no voice, no head, no body, of coming to work and somebody else's name is on the door of their office, or coming home and their mother asks them to introduce themselves... all are metaphors of an estrangement from the self. The only solution